Posted on Animals, General, humour, mindfulness

Pup school, the sequel

Teachers pet typing here, yes, dear Aggi decided to spare me permanent puppy school outcast status and made me look like a dog training savant! , at least initially. She performed every instruction with accuracy, all be it with the bored expression of a Pro that’s done the task a million times.

Ms High Vis *(see puppy school paranoia post) unfortunately took this as a signal to use us as an example of what to do…….oww the pressure of the public performance. Just when I was finding Ms High Vis’s attention slightly creepy, I ‘blew it’ by inadvertently praising my little one by saying “well done darling”; Darling!, Darling? exclaimed Ms High Vis……”there is no darling here, only dogs with names!”….seemingly using terms of endearment is verboten!…., ah well, back to ‘must try harder’, and was that a  smirk from Aggi at me being told off?, surely not.

Joining me on the dunce’s stool was *Pearl (*name changed to protect the fact that I don’t know her name. I know the names of all the puppies in the group but somehow the people’s names are irrelevant) and her miniature poodle pup Fluffy. During the session, where we had to stand immediately in front of the puppy and “keep eye contact while looming over them, so they know who is boss” boomed Ms Vis, was the point that Pearl committed a sin larger than my “Darling” debacle.

You see, God or a surgeon had endowed Pearl with a huge bosom ; the type of impressive shelf  that you could rest a cup of tea on without fear of spilling a drop. The combination of Pearl with Fluffy at her feet clearly put them at a disadvantage as they had  line-of-sight issues; so Pearl took a step back, presumably so she could check the pup was still there……….well, from the way Ms Vis reacted you would have thought poor Pearl had kicked her pup or performed some other heinous crime. “You moved!!, how are you going to teach Fluffy by moving?” bellowed Ms Vis. Pearl and I swapped knowing, commiserating glances that cemented us as pals; even if Aggi treats Fluffy as a chew toy.

We were treated to a ‘meet and greet’ with the Advanced puppy class at the end of the session, (designed, I guess to encourage us to improve and move up a level) and I got goosed by a gusset nuzzling German Shepherd; more forward than advanced if you ask me.            * that day I was mindful and aware that friendships can blossom anywhere.

Posted on Animals, General, humour, mindfulness

Puppy school paranoia

This afternoon was a last-ditch, backyard bribery fest with dried liver for young Aggi (black lab, now 16 weeks old), in preparation for tomorrows euphemistically called “obedience classes”. There is no point in deluding ourselves into calling it a dog obedience session, as it is clearly all about “training” the people.

Aggi and I have spent two weekend sessions under the watchful eye of a dominating woman with a bad perm, High Vis Vest and huge heart (where the canine beings are concerned);…….the people ?…she could patently take or leave, as long as they know how to avoid harming any little 4 legged friends.

So today was all about me avoiding a repeat of the past 2 saturday afternoon public humiliation sessions at the paws of my wee loved one. You see, she knows how to do the basic commands , all be it with an accompanied bribe/inducement; at least her recall in the back garden practices makes me very proud and am convinced she is a puppy genious……..then off we trot to the group session.

She will perform the perfunctory bits (as if saving face with the other puppies at the start) and then when it comes to our turn in the centre for a SIT /STAY/COME…….(after I have walked away) part, she does the puppy equivalent of “being left hanging” during a high five!!!……in a silence rivaling an old cowboy movie/sun-up standoff she just sits and looks at me when called………..Ms high Vis insists I get more animated and encouraging, and Aggi’s reaction?…..a slight cock of the head to the side (to increase the cuteness and emphasise the point of no comprende’) and leaves me hanging out to dry, yelling encouragement and trying baby noises and flailing my arms about like a windmill in front of strangers…..silently she sits, like a wee indignant rock……………enter the tumble weeds.* today I was mindful and learned to appreciate the abilities of others, even when they keep them hidden.

Watch this space for the outcomes of tomorrows obedience ordeal……..> wish me luck

Posted on General, health, humour, meditation, mindfulness

Toe Breathing for beginners…..

Part of aiming for overall fitness of mind / body/ spirit I have been working on improving my meditation technique……they say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect so this old girl hasnt a moment to lose!

As I have also been fitting in a 5km  daily walk with Henry (Choc Lab) it occurred to me that if I could combine both it would be super efficient……….so was time to give Walking Meditation a go…..>>>>>>

So off my choc buddy and I went, complete with me plugged into iPhone voiceover  app of “mindfulness walking meditation”, well we started off  at a cracking, enthusiastic pace until the soothing voice urged me to “concentrate on where you ARE rather than where you are GOING”…..what the?, OK, slow down and concentrate…..ooops , don’t walk into the lampost…..you can’t shut your eyes to concentrate, focus girl focus….nope…he is definitely reinforcing “just be where you are and be curios about THAT and don’t worry about the destination”……..by this time poor Henry was getting bored with such slow walking and was leading me off in the direction of a pre piddled tree. Having just reached the part where I was to imagine my thoughts like “clouds drifting in the sky” was when Henry became my assistance dog ( he is such a brilliant chum) and stopped me walking out in front of a car by running in a circle and wrapping his lead round my legs…….what a pal {Note to self……dont have both ears plugged in while out and about….even if  what I was doing was  meant to improve “awareness”! what an oxymoron}.

Ok, now with one ear being safety conscious and H having decided it was safer to walk in front we got to the part where ; having scanned the whole self, i was to “breathe in deeply down to my left little toe and then feel same toe breath out all the way up to my lungs”………..concentrate girl, concentrate….nope, cant even feel my wee left toe; maybe my socks are too thick….ooops he has moved onto the right foot and i havent even exhaled from the left!!!!!, wondering if my foot may blow up gave me the giggles and I had to abandon the voiceover.  Clearly this toe breathing is going to take some practice so maybe will start with my feet up on a stool to help with the visualisation…..Maybe one of the occasions when wine helps.

A regular dog walking (nodding acquaintance) very sweet old gent did stop for a chat on our way back and commented on how happy i seemed that day, so maybe part of the meditation worked :). *I learned to be mindful and you can only consciously listen when you make your ears available.

5 Comments Posted on Animals, General

chicken violation……

I have a confession to make……yesterday I had my fingers up a chicken that was still alive!…the day started fairly normally, apart from Wilma (Hen 2) looking a wee bit under

Betty & Wilma chickens

Betty & Wilma chickens

the weather. No usual perky flapping of wings, more a feeble scratch at the ground and hung head; I wasnt overly worried until she seemed to be ehmm…..straining to no avail and her back-end was pasty and less than pristine.A quick search of some learned fowl sites on Dr Google told me I should “check the vent for blockage, and clear any obstacles found”…..well the only obstacles I could think of (other than a blocked egg) was the objection I had to sticking my fingers up the back-end of poor Wilma.

The helpful site also suggested that a bath in warm water may help her relax, and that the addition of Epsom salts would further soothe her to relaxation  point . Well , fond of Wilma as I am, i wasnt about to be sharing my bath with her, so an al fresco basin for her and some rubber gloves for me would have to suffice.

I have to say she didn’t seem to mind the warm water and she appeared more calm than me, or maybe that was a  ‘frozen” look on her face; so I boldly went where no woman had gone before (with Wilma) and adopted a gynecological approach to the chicken exploration, clearing whatever I found that didn’t seem to belong there. Himself” watched on, giving me moral support from a safe distance, with a mixture of disgust and admiration on his face……not sure there is enough disinfectant in the world to get that image out of his head [Note to self: don’t offer to make him pastry by hand any time soon].

Wilma is on the mend, and getting special treatment and scraps, after all, we are now on more intimate terms and I will treasure (and enjoy)  her eggs, knowing the effort she goes to produce the miracle that turns grain and food scraps into a protein packed orb. * I learned, and was mindful that you only get back what you put in!     

Posted on General

March!, how did that happen?

Aggi

Aggi

Tis 6 weeks since I left work and honestly couldnt condense what I have been up to in a sentence; except to say it has included more menagerie than “mindfulness”. The addition of little Aggi mid January has swallowed up time in a delightful, if puddlesome way and I am delighted to say she is now past the 4am accompanied loo trip to the back lawn.

Not before time I might add, as it was only a matter of time before my night-time torchlight nighty and ugg boot ensemble/ activity attracted the attention of a well-meaning neighbour who thought we may have a prowler……..during those trips * I was mindful.…to shine the torch where I was walking, and not on the excited black puppy chasing imaginary leaves, thus avoiding the squelch.

Posted on Animals, General Image

First proper post on the first

 

Precious,Posing

Precious,Posing

The first time I wrote the date 01/01/14 was today, in pencil on the first egg of the year at 7am. I was mindful of how relaxing it was to pop the date on something so casual , instead of the usual round of documents, papers and tenders that a work day

holds. Today being the first of the year is (of course) a holiday in Australia so blessedly relaxed.
First proper blog post!!!! Very exciting and hopefully the first of many, although we will see how the year pans out.
In three weeks time I will be leaving my paid work of 14 years to take a sabbatical / take stock/ have a rest/ think about what I would like to do with the rest of my life……..rather than the usual hurry burly of plane trips,meetings and general work responsibilities.
How will it feel?….. Don’t know yet but I can’t wait to find out…..roll on the 24th Jan…..not many sleeps now.
Now a duck wants my attention; not one of the menagerie, Dinner for New Year’s Day (no, obviously I am not one of the vegetarian animal lovers, although I do moderate red meat)….. Mainly birds and fish for me ( tis ok, the ones in the tank can’t hear me)…… Will away and get the bird in the oven.